Posted By FarmerJ on September 11, 2010

Nature is beginning to give all the indications of the fast-approaching fall, which means we will soon be retreating to the indoors.  This always puts me into scramble mode, as there’s so many projects I’d like to finish outside before the snow starts to fly.  The OSB Palace has plenty-o-projects to keep us entertained, should we ever get bored gardening, mowing, weed eating, baling alfalfa, weed eating, mowing, gardening…and laundry.

For three years now, I’ve been telling myself, “I really need to get those frames around the garage door painted.”  It started out mostly because I can’t stand the ugly chocolate brown paint the original owner used.  But, as the years have passed, the need to paint became a real necessity.  Not only did the original owner use ugly chocolate brown paint, but he used cheap ugly chocolate brown paint!

There was just no way I could stand to let it go another long winter season.  My intention was to complete the task over Labor Day weekend, but then the wind howled from the south and made painting conditions not-so-good.  I peeked at the forecast and saw that Tuesday was my day.  So, that was it.  Tuesday.

I kissed my Darling Husbie goodbye as he left for work and told him to wave bye-bye to the ugly garage doors.  Boy, was I smug, huh?  Feeling fully energized about finally being able to complete this task, I quickly set into motion Project: You’re Going Down, Chocolate Brown!  I figured I’d be done in plenty of time to have everything cleaned up before Husbie returned from work, and he’d have a nice surprise to drive up to.

These are the door frames that have been taunting ~ and haunting ~ me for so long.  See that beautiful blue sky?  There was a nice, gentle breeze, too.  Tuesday was the day.  I was stoked.

Every time I’d walk by these doors, I could hear the chuckling, the giggling ~ the cracking, the peeling,  “We know this bugs the daylight out of you!  *poke, poke*”  Sometimes, I could stand the mockery no more, and I’d reach down and yank a piece off.  “There!  Take that, you cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint!”

I set about gathering all my tools and accessories.  Paint, stirrer stick, paint tray, the dealy-bob to open the paint can, roller, paintbrush.  No.  Where was my paintbrush?  I’d last used it during the Farmstead office overhaul.  All of my other painting tools were right where they were supposed to be.  Well, there was work to be done before I’d be ready for the paintbrush, anyway.  Maybe I’d think of where it could be while doing all the prepping.  No paintbrush was just a small setback ~ I still had the roller and a sponge brush, if need be.

I was originally going to remove all the boards, clean them up, paint them, and replace them.  Darling Husbie advised me not to do that ~ he reminded me of the whole ‘projects beget projects’ thing.  Yeah, we didn’t need another large project just yet, so I left the boards where they were.

I eagerly set out scraping that cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint.  I started with a little scraper.  You know, like a putty knife.  That worked, but it was taking a lot longer than I’d hoped.  All of a sudden, these two garage doors looked a lot bigger when armed with only an elbow-powered 1″ wide putty knife.

Ah-hah!  I decided I’d get out my electric sander and show this cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint just what I had for it.  Well, that worked, too.  But, it was still taking a lot longer than I was wanting it to.  It was okay…just another small setback.

Then the brilliant bell finally rung in my head.  Why hadn’t it rung sooner?!  I immediately unplugged the electric sander, kicked the extension cord out of the way, and went and got the big gun from Husbie’s shop ~ the pressure washer.  Yes!  This was going to be the shizzle.

And, it was, too.  That bad boy fired right up, and that cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint didn’t know what was hitting it when that 47-degree water was pelting it at some high rate of psi.  [I know.  That's a little vague, but I can't remember what psi Husbie's pressure washer is.]  This was good.  No, this was great!  I had all of the paint blasted off the framing on the left door in mere minutes, maybe even seconds.  I even took the liberty to spray off all the siding while I was at it.  Plus, the bonus from this was that I was being kept cool by all the over spray.  Before I knew it, the cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint was flying off the framing on the right door.  Yes, things were going great now…

…until the high pressure hose sprung a leak.  A bad leak.  Just another small setback, though.  No problem.  I did what any girl would do and set off to get her husband’s duct tape.  If it can be 100 mph tape, then it can be some high rate of psi tape, too, right?  Except, I couldn’t find the duct tape.  No problem.  I’d found another solution.

A roll of nice, shiny electrical tape.  Not nearly as strong as duct tape, but that’s okay.  I’d just use more of it.  Good as new.

Except, not.  I fired up the big gun again, eying my shady repair job cautiously.  [Do you know that if you get hit by the stream of some high rate of psi water jetting out of a tiny hole in a high pressure hose, it stings a little?]  Much to my delight, water was once again spraying out of the nozzle.  Super!  I was back in business.  But, it was extremely short lived.  The soft electrical tape, despite being wrapped around the hose umpteen times, was just not up to the task.  Just another small setback.

By now, a good portion of the morning was gone.  I knew the duct tape would work, though, if I could only find it.  I decided to call Husbie at work…again.  I have to say, I have the most adorable, loving husband in the world.  There he was, in the midst of putting out small fires and stomping some big alligators at work, and he never got impatient with me and my trivial ‘problems.’  “Lovie, I can’t find my paintbrush.  Do you know where it is?”  No.  I knew before I called, the poor man would have no idea where I’d put my paintbrush.  He wasn’t even in this state the last time I’d used it!  But, not being able to find things drives me absolutely insane, so I had to call on the off chance.  But, no.

Then, “Lovie, do you know where the duct tape is?  The hose on the pressure washer sprung a leak.”  My most beloved says,”It’s on the bookshelf by the door in the Man Cave.  [Exactly what I'd thought ~ every man knows where his duct tape is.]  But, you’re talking about the high pressure hose?  Duct tape isn’t going to work.”  I was just opening my mouth to protest just a tiny bit and make my plea when Darling Husbie got another call ~ much more important than mine, mind you ~ and with a “I’ve got to take this call,” we kissed over the phone and our conversation ended.  But, my brain was already processing the challenge put before me…those words, “Duct tape isn’t going to work.”  Oh, the makers of duct tape would be so proud…if only they could see…this!

There’s somewhere around 153 wraps of duct tape on there, I’m pretty sure.  And, yes, a couple more leaks sprung, but we fixed those to.  My duct tape and I.  Although the duct tape didn’t stop the leak entirely, it did contain the geyser so that enough pressure made it to the end of the nozzle, allowing me to blast off a bunch more of the cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint.  Yes, I was back in business!  At least until the big gun ran out of gas.  What?!  I was oh-so-close to being finished, but alas, there was dead silence in the air.  No problem.  Just another small setback.  I completed the task of removing the last of the cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint with my 1″ elbow-powered putty knife.  Irony is bliss, yes?  Life comes full circle, yes?  Yeah, something like that.

While I was waiting for the wood to dry, I set about completing a task that was apparently just too much for the original owner to handle ~ hammering the nails holding the door seal trim in place the rest of the way in.  What was up with that?  It wasn’t just one or two nails, either.  It was all of them.  On both doors.  I know it had to do with the air nailer he was using, but seriously?  Anyway, all the nails are now fully hammered into place.  I won’t even mention the fine paint job on the trim piece.

Hmmmm, that sun sure was starting to cast some long shadows.  It must have been a lot later than I’d hoped it would be at this point in the game.  That’s okay, though.  There were a couple small setbacks that slowed me down a little.

I managed to get all the framing on the left door painted and all the cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint chips swept into piles before Husbie returned from work.  I don’t think my beloved even noticed the garage door yet ~ he was too famboozled over my duct tape work on the high pressure hose to notice something like a stark white door frame.  As he stood there, gazing in awe at my…um…contraption, I sheepishly giggled and said, “See, I told you duct tape would work.”  “Yeah, but I didn’t know you were going to put that much on there,” was all he could manage to get out between chuckles.  Well, whatever works, right?

Husbie did compliment me on how nice the finished door looked, especially once I got the paint chips swept up and the blue masking tape removed.  That was going to be it for the day.  The right door would have to remain bare for the night.  Even that looked better than it did with the ~ here it comes ~ cheap, ugly chocolate brown paint peeling and cracking…and no more taunting, either!  The plan was to get back out there early in the morning to get it finished before the rain came.

Except, not.  Wednesday morning came around, and so did the rain.  We got a good shower just after Husbie left for work, and it soaked the bare wood.  So now, I had to wait for that to dry before I could start painting.  No problem.  Just another small setback.  I went ahead and got the blue masking tape in place and drug out all my painting tools again in the meantime.

About that time, Big Little Brother comes down to get in his car ~ which is parked inside the garage, on the right side, in which he parked after all the prior day’s work was done ~ to toodle off to college.  “Mom, what are you doing?”  I stated the obvious.  “I’m painting the frames around the garage doors.”  “Oh, I thought something looked different when I pulled in last night.”  Very good, Son.  We shall call you ‘Observant One.”  You see, there is good reason we refer to our boys as Masters of the Obvious.  Really.  We couldn’t make this stuff up.

Anyway, by now the wood had dried and I was ready to paint.  But, no.  It began to rain again.  I looked up at the sky and smiled at the Lord, “Just another small setback?”  I resigned to running around in the grass with the girls, playing in the sprinkles until the sprinkles turned into real raindrops.  Then we retreated indoors to wait out the rain.

It did finally quit raining and the wood dried out…around 3:00 pm.  Later than I’d wanted to start, but that’s okay.  A good three or four coats later, and I was once again finishing up just as Husbie returned from work.  A quick clean-up of paint tools, folding of step ladders, and tearing off of masking tape and…

…Project: You’re Going Down, Chocolate Brown! was complete.  Man, that feels good!

All I can say is ~ I sure love my adorable, patient Darling Husbie…and duct tape.  ♥

Categories: OSB Palace Projects
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