57 Bottles and Nothin’ On

Posted By on March 12, 2009

bottles

They say men and women are different.  That’s something we all can probably agree on ~ men and women are two varying species.  They say women are more complicated.  While I tend to think of myself as a fairly simple gal ~ low fuss, no muss and pretty portable ~ I have to admit I, as a woman, am more complicated than my Darling Husbie…he’s the man.

Our bathroom proves it.  We have a double vanity arrangement here at the Farmstead.  Husbie has his side, and I have mine.  It works out rather well, I might add ~ at least for me…my side sort of creeps through the center pedestal cabinetry and over onto his side.  Shhhhh, I don’t think he’s noticed.

You see, ~ and here’s what makes me more complicated than Husbie ~ I have stuff.  A lot of stuff.  I have age defying facial lotion [which doesn't seem to be working, mind you], foot lotion and body lotion.   I have cocoa butter, body butter and body cream.

For the dry winter days when the body butter and body cream don’t suffice, I have body mist, body spray [what's the difference?] and body oil.

I have smooth skin exfoliating scrub and foaming face wash.  I have body wash.  I have body wash with body butter ribbons.  I have shower gel.  I have after-shave gel and shaving cream.

I can’t forget the body powder.  I have standard baby powder, and for those humid summer days, I have the super absorbency powder with time-released fragrance.

As you can see, I have the face, body and feet pretty well ‘covered’ ~ not to mention, Johnson & Johnson, L’Oreal and Olay send me Christmas cards every year thanking me for my continued contributions to their companies.  What’s left?

The hair.  Oh my, the hair products.  Every woman wants happy healthy hair, right?  And, we all know that washing your hair can strip it of its natural oils and minerals.  So, I’ve got stuff to replenish all that.  A lot of stuff.

I’ve got leave-in protein spray, leave-in treatment cream and leave-in smoothing milk [why would I want to put 'milk' in my hair after just washing it?].  For those days when the frizzles really frazzle me, and the smoothing milk just doesn’t cut it, I’ve got silk infusion.

I’ve got ultra straight balm and curl perfecter ~ but what I really need is to just make up my mind!

I’ve got the amazing hair tamer and the ultimate root booster.  Again, I’m so confused!

I don’t fret about bad hair days anymore, because I have the Aussie’s 3-minute miracle reconstructor to come to my rescue.

I’ve got mega shine spray, and for when I’m finally done ~ or just give up ~ I’ve got moisture barrier hair spray.  What I can’t figure out, though, is this: is that helpful barrier to keep all the moisture I’ve just attempted to add to my hair in, or is it to keep Mother Nature’s moisture out?

I’m not even going to touch on all the different shampoos and daily conditioners I have.  Neither you, nor I, have the time for that.

So, all of that’s what you see when you look at my side of the vanity.  Plus just a little that has flowed over onto Husbie’s side, but we’re not going to point those things out to him.

Now we move over to Husbie’s side.  What does he have on his side?  He’s got one stick of deodorant, one can of shaving gel, one razor, one tube of toothpaste, one box of dental floss and his toothbrush.  That’s it.  That’s everything.  And get this ~ it all fits into one skinny little top drawer way over in the corner of the vanity by his sink.  He doesn’t even use the cupboard space underneath his sink.  Shhhh!  That’s where I’ve got my overflow stashed.  Oh, and he’s got one bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner in the shower.  The man even makes that simple and gets a product that combines both products into one bottle.  Shaw!

Do you want to know the irony of it all?  Most days I don’t even have any of these products on.  Gasp! It’s time to start using this stuff and finishing up what I’ve got before I introduce any more pretty bottles and jars to my cupboard collection.  Have no fear ~ they’re all lined up on the pantry shelves like soldiers in formation…just waiting to join the ranks!

Please tell me you can relate to this.  Please tell me I’m not the only complicated gal who has a bottle collecting habit…or is it a sickness?

About The Author

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. ~ 1 John 3:18

Comments

4 Hugs in response to “57 Bottles and Nothin’ On”


  1. *Giggle* I have soap, razor, and a pony tail holder……I dont even wear makeup any more! Egads!

    Cindy


  2. Well, if I looked like you do, I wouldn’t need makeup, either!

    For some reason, I just remembered the story you told of when you went out at night in your jammies and had a little car trouble. Heehee!


  3. Omigosh! That was a nightmare…….the ‘rescue committee’ probably thought so too! My stepson still reminds me of that evening….much to my chagrin. LOL

    Of course…..it never stopped me. I still make trips to the local Dollar Store, pick up the daughter at basketball and track practices, and go to the grocery store…..all in my jammies…of course I wear them under coveralls now…..ha!

    Oh yeah….I DO still go milk the cows in my jams though…..hey rubber boots and barn coat over flowery flannel is a fashion statement ya know!! I’m a Fashionista!!!!!

    *grin*


  4. Ha! You’re a hoot, Girl!

    Oh yes, Farmstead Fashion. I’m all over that! Many a time I’ve pranced around the alfalfa field in my plaid flannel jammies under my Farmer J overalls ~ they don’t call them overalls for nothin’, right?! And, I’ve got plenty-o-room to expand my fashion apparel…my overalls are literally five sizes too big. Oh yeah ~ I’m truly cover page material for Farmstead Fashion magazine! Heehee!

    Oy!

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