Too Fast for His Own Good
Posted By FarmerJ on September 2, 2010
Meet Mr. Duster. He is our beloved 1974 Plymouth Duster. He ain’t pretty ~ how could he be with those ridiculous flames painted on his nose ~ but he’s ours…and his personality more than makes up for his appearance. We bought Mr. Duster for $325, complete with the box of 8-track tapes on the back seat and Iron Butterfly proudly positioned in the working 8-track player, a little over 8 years ago. Up until about a week and a half ago, Mr. Duster was bone-stock just like he was made 36 years ago.
[If you click on the photo to enlarge it, you can see some of Mr. Duster's friends currently in and around the shop. Right next to Mr. Duster is the blue bombardier, which is Big Little Brother's donor car for his current ride. Just beyond the blue bombardier's roof, you can see the steering wheel and snout of Booger. You haven't met Booger yet, have you? He's Darling Husbie's latest acquisition of farm equipment, the diesel powered Farmall 460. I'll have to introduce you to Booger another day.
Then, behind Mr. Duster is the Neonderthal ~ complete with Big Little Brother, the proud owner of this Plymouth Neon. This car has been hacked so much in attempt to make it a 'ricer' that no other name would ever fit. The definition of neanderthal is: primitive, unenlightened, or reactionary; culturally or intellectually backward. Yep, that about sums it up. And then, just behind the Neonderthal is The Gitter, the 2WD Ramcharger that was for so long my grocery getter. Whew! All that in just one tiny snapshot.]
Anyway, back to Mr. Duster. You see, there are certain breeds of gear heads. And, then, there are sub-breeds within those breeds. My beloved husband is a Mopar man through and through, but he and Mr. Duster take it even further. They are Slant 6-ers. A Slant 6 is one of Chrysler’s two best-known engines, ranking right up there with the Hemi V8, just at the polar opposite end of the displacement scale. There is a serious Slant 6 sub-breed out there, let me tell you. And, what a fun group of people they are, too!
Let me backtrack here just a little bit. Seven years ago, we took Mr. Duster to Las Vegas and Husbie ran him down the 1/4 mile during the first Mopars at the Strip event. We trailered him back home, parked him, and he sat still for the next 7 years. We didn’t even start Mr. Duster to get him on the trailer last November when we brought him to the Farmstead from Arizona ~ because someone [I shall remain nameless] forgot the keys. Husbie loosened something to do with the steering lock and winched him onto the trailer.
Okay, so now we’re back to present time, 7 years later. We…er…Husbie found out that the serious Slant 6 sub-breed was planning a gathering, aka 1/4 mile racing event, right here in Nebraska. That was a couple of months ago. As time always does around here, it warped. One sunshiny morning, Husbie awoke and realized, “I only have two weeks to get Mr. Duster ready for the race.” Yes, my love, you do.
Remember way at the top where I said Mr. Duster was bone-stock? Well, that meant he and his 225 cu in leaning tower of power was equipped with a 2-barrel Super Six carburetor setup, some old convoluted cast iron intake manifold, and six exhaust ports all trying to fight with each other to exit one tube on the exhaust manifold. Or, something like that. If you want to know more about all that, you’ll have to check with Husbie directly ~ because that’s the extent of my knowledge on that subject merely gained by hanging around my gear head, handing him tools.
So, the two-week thrash session began. But, also as it always does around here, Husbie’s work schedule became mildly chaotic and he really ended up with only 10 days to get Mr. Duster ready for the race. What was there to get ready, you ask? Well, let’s see…
The very first order of business was to siphon the 7-year old gas out of Mr. Duster. It was just plain nasty. [Yes, that is the edge of a sofa, complete with recliner, and an area rug you see in the left portion of the photo. That is my area of the shop. Teehee!]
The next order, and probably the single most important order, of business was to get Mr. Duster’s archaic carburetor system converted to a snazzy Mega Squirt electronic fuel injection system. Of course, that meant it was finally time to blow the cobwebs off the Dutra Duals ~ which were a surprise gift waiting for Husbie when he returned from Iraq…and were safely stored in the trunk of Mr. Duster in Arizona at the time of the shop fire ~ along with the spiffy Offenhauser intake manifold.
I always marvel at the level of intelligence my beloved husband has ~ something I don’t think will ever cease to amaze me. It wasn’t just a matter of installing the Mega Squirt system. Oh, no. It first had to be built. My Man of Many Talents is not only a gear head, he’s a techie, too! He read this manual…
…and understood it to create this ~ the Mega Squirt board…the brain of the EFI system. When the box containing this arrived at the barn house, it was nothing more than a bare circuit board with umpteen tiny zip-loc bags holding microscopic doo-dads and dealy-bobs. I read looked at the same said manual…and understood it to be Ancient Gibberish.
A few days into the thrashing process, and Mr. Duster was connected to the Laptop Lifeline. I bet it’s safe to say, never in a million 36 years did Mr. Duster think he would someday have a brain and be hooked up to a laptop for tuning! He was giddy with excitement. Husbie was, too. [Oh, that's the nose of Buckwheat, the Ford 2N tractor you see in the background.]
Two days before race day, and many test runs up and down the farm roads, Mr. Duster is nearly ready. All that is left is the installation of a complete exhaust system, ~ Husbie and Big Little Brother hacksawed the original exhaust system off while at Mopars at the Strip ~ the mounting of 4 new shoes because those that were on it were horribly sun rot, and the removal of 7 years’ compilation of fine dirt and dust from the interior [that was my task while Husbie did the easy things, like building the Mega Squirt].
Husbie pulled it off. With a little bit of help from Big Little Brother and me, he managed to give Mr. Duster a major transplant and get him loaded onto the trailer with enough time to spare for us to join the Slant 6 gang for a little pre-race pizza Friday night. Members of this gang came from as far as California on one side of the country, and as far as Virginia on the other. Crazy, huh? Notice something missing in this picture? Where are all the women?! Needless to say, I felt like a wart on a hog…or, a catfish out of water. Or, something like that.
This is it. Saturday morning, and Mr. Duster is back on the 1/4 mile strip after 7 long years ~ long for him…for us, those years flew by. It was somewhat nostalgic, too, because our old circle track racing number was available. Mr. Duster was #64. Right on. The first run is clocked at 20.067. Not so good, but considering all that had been done and the fact that he was still cold and stiff, it was okay. [Sorry about the lack of zoomage in the photo. I forgot about that in all the excitement.]
Some major tuning took place in the pits, and some major improvement was taking place on the track. By the time the second and third time trials were run, Husbie and Mr. Duster had managed to shave 1.033 seconds off! That may not seem like much in every day life ~ but on the 1/4 mile, that’s huge! The time slip indicated 19.034 and 73.53 mph at the end. My comfort level with this racing was so good as compared to the circle track racing. We go faster than this on the interstate. So, with this, I’m good. I’m better than good.
Husbie is good, too, signaled by the big ‘thumbs up’ sign he gave me on his way back to the tower to pick up the time slip. He could feel the improvement already. Plus, he was finally having some fun ~ the only thing I’d hoped for on this day.
So, now came the hard part. The calm, cool, calculating of your time bracket. Disregarding the first trial run in the 20′s, Mr. Duster consistently ran in the 19′s throughout the day. He had 5 other runs ranging from 19.190 to as quick as 19.006. We had to specify how fast we thought Mr. Duster could do the 1/4 mile ~ the objective being to get as close as possible to that time without going over. They refer to it as ‘dialing in your time.’ Meanwhile, the guy in the other lane has done the same with his car. You’re both racing the clock, and each other, without going faster than the time you dialed in at. Bracket racing is set up so it doesn’t matter how fast or slow your car is, you could easily end up going down the track with a 10 second car, and you could still win. How cool is that?! It’s way cool, plus it keeps the sport competitive.
Anyway, after driving and tuning Mr. Duster all day, Husbie said we should dial in at 19.000 flat. After pondering and analytically eyeballing the time slips for 10 minutes, I said we should dial in at 19.110. Husbie ~ unfortunately ~ listened to me and dialed in at 19.110. The photo above is of Mr. Duster’s final race for the day. We lost the race because Mr. Duster was too fast for his own good and broke out, meaning he went faster than the 19.110 he dialed in at. He went 19.034 for the second time that day. Sigh! If Husbie would have gone with the time he said, 19.000, he would have won the race because the other driver also broke out, but not by as much as Husbie and Mr. Duster did. I felt terrible! It was one time I wished my husband hadn’t listened to me!
We enjoyed watching the rest of the gang run through their races, and then we all gathered for dinner at a local buffet restaurant. We got our payout while we were eating, too. Even the losers got paid! Now, this is way better than the circle track racing! We all devoured our food and departed, as there was more fun to be had beginning bright and early Sunday morning.
Three more time trial runs and more tuning equated to more improvement. Mr. Duster even broke into the 18′s! Woot! The 1/4 mile times ranged from 19.686 down to 18.926. My most adorable Darling Husbie asked me what time we were going to dial in at this time, and I just said, “Whatever time you feel like, Lovie!” I didn’t want to be responsible for blowing another race. Husbie dialed in at 19.000 flat. And, here they are for the final run. Once again, Mr. Duster was just too fast for his own good. Husbie even backed off the throttle at the end, but still broke out. He ran 1/4 mile in 18.955 and at 71.83 mph.
All in all, it was a great weekend. It was fun to meet some of the serious Slant 6 sub-breed ~ a very nice and very unique breed they are. It was fun to get away from the military and Farmstead work for a couple of days. It was fun to have Mr. Duster out and running again after so many years. And, it was fantastic to see my beloved with a ‘fun’ smile on his face for a change!
I believe I overheard the two of them ~ Darling Husbie and Mr. Duster ~ discussing some things while in the shop the other day. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, and not too much at that, before Mr. Duster is up on blocks again, undergoing more transplants in preparation for next year’s Nebraska Slant 6 gathering. Of this, I have no doubt.
I’m just glad I can be there, with the girls, on our Supervisor Couch, asking questions, learning to read Ancient Gibberish, and handing my beloved his tools. ♥




































































